Back-to-School 10 - End of the Road

The End of the Road

Reflection – Week 10

The Completion of a Chapter, again…

And so, I have reached the End of my Teaching Practical at Scottsdene High School...

With many of the Grades having written their ‘critical’ Tests during the previous Week, the School-ground appeared eerily empty on Monday-morning. Only the unfortunate few whom still had to write Tourism, Consumer Studies and select Papers and Tasks for History still came to School. This gave me ample time, to complete marking my Test-papers and have more ‘informal conversations’ with the learners of the classes I had to keep an eye on… Unfortunately, we had another couple of ‘incidents’ in ‘The Hood’ – the fatal shooting of one of their friends on Monday (after School) and a stabbing (not fatal) of a Grade 9 Student on Tuesday during Home-room, by one of his Classmates.

The Weekend-before my last Week at School, I had to do some Introspection about my reasons for wanting to enter the Teaching Profession. I have realized, that I had become very negative about my experiences at School and was being consumed by it. I was allowing the circumstances and events dictate how I approach and react to my daily ‘toil’ at School. And that was not what I had intended... I did not want to dread getting up and going to school. I did not want to grow so cold and heartless, that I find myself becoming blunt to the daily struggles of my learners. I have always been a very positive person and returned Home (Cape Town, South Africa) to try and share that ‘positivity’ with the learners back home. My Time spent in the Public School System of South Korea, opened up my eyes to how much stress and troubles the youth of today have to deal with… In South Korea, the general community deal with their Issues by escapism… Denial, Alcoholism and Suicide being the biggest Social Issues that threads through their Society. From the poorest farm-worker (unable to take care of his Family), to the Leaders of the Country (unable or unwilling to own up to their short-comings and ask for assistance)… Too easily do they choose to end their ‘worries’ by ending their Lives, in an attempt to ‘save face’ and spare their family the ‘dishonor’ of public shame and humiliation??? In Scottsdene and the surrounding Neighbourhoods, the Youth (Young Men AND Women) do not choose suicide… They rather lash out in frustration to whomever they come into contact with… They ‘crash’ into each other and react violently… Towards their families, their neighbours, their friends… Even towards those, who intend to show them compassion and offer to try and lend a helping hand??? The kids see this in their Homes… On the Streets… They see their ‘heroes’ beating up each other… And in many cases, they reason that this is the normal way of dealing with their difficulties. If you want something, you take it… If you are upset, you hurt someone else.

I was never under the Illusion, that my School-Experience would be a Fairy-tale… I chose, to do my Practical Teaching at a School where I would face the realities of Life in the ‘Bornfree’ South Africa. I have heard tales, both great and gruesome, about the discrepancies in the Real School Experiences of Kids in vastly different circumstances.

I just wasn’t very prepared for how much of a challenge it would be, to keep one’s composure and still remain an Educator to Learners who do not realize how important their Education is… In order for them to try and ‘escape’ their current dire circumstances? I have since realized, that perhaps THAT is part of the Problem… The Privileged Point-of-View that their lived experiences are of a lesser ‘value’ and we want them to be ‘better’… To become ‘better’… As the saying goes – Charity is the Opium of the Privileged. Perhaps, we are still too far removed from the everyday REAL experiences of our learners that we are just unable to relate to them… As such, we do not understand WHY they are so resistant to ‘help’ from ‘the outside’… From ‘the other’, because we do not live their Lives and we approach them with an attitude of Judgement. Even though we mean ‘well’… We still treat them as if they are inferior, and we want them to be more like ‘us’… Because, we are ‘better’ and we want them to be ‘better’??? Even though, I grew up just a few blocks away from the neighbourhood of Scottsdene, I too caught myself regaling my classes with my Stories from Overseas… And why I want them, to try and get through School successfully and get out there – as the World is their Oyster and they just have to reach out and grab it… Perhaps… Their whole World consist of what they have in the here and the now??? They may have Parents and other Family Members (some of my Learners are Parents already) dependent on them for an Income – whether it is the monthly SASSA Payment or the Money they ‘earn’ selling Drugs and Robbing and Thieving… For these Learners, my ‘inspirational talks’ are mere reminders that they already have a very difficult time to manage their daily affairs… They do not dare to dream about leaving their Real Lives behind, in pursuit of Dreams that seem very unrealistic and unattainable to them…

My Initial Goal of wanting to be an Example and an Inspiration to my Learners, has not quite crumpled… I do feel however, that I need to be more aware about how I approach my students – in order to not alienate them… We can only try to teach, when our audience is open to learning from us… When the audience is unable to relate to us and they are of the opinion that we are only blowing our own horn, they are most likely going to turn away from us and it is a very difficult task to recapture their attention once that has happened… This is most probably the biggest lesson that I have learnt from my time at Scottsdene High School… Connect… Really connect with your learners!!! Before you even attempt to open up a Book or start a Discussion with your class - make sure that you have their attention and that they are actually interested in what you have prepared for them. Time does not always allow it, however… Take some time to get to know your learners… Try to understand them… What makes them tick… And what do they NEED from you, as the Educator, in order to help them reach the Goals they set up for themselves… It is good to want to inspire and push them towards their Goals, but don’t be ‘pushy’… Promoting our own goals, as the Teacher / Adult / Better-than-thou, will only push the child… No, Young Adult(!) away from you… Once that Connection you have with them has been severed, it is not easy to mend the tear that is left behind.

Week 9 - We'll be just fine...

Back-to-School - Week 9

Break my Spine, I'll be just fine...

And thus, we've reached the End of the 1st Week of September Tests...

The Grade 8 to 11s have started writing their 3rd Term Tests on Tuesday. Strangely enough, these kids were under the impression that - because the ANAs  (Annual National Assessment) were postponed, they would get a Free Pass and not need to write any Tests, on account of all the 'disruptions' at school!? Fat Chance, Fellas...

These are the same bright young minds, who are 'clever' enough to want to 'reason' with the Teachers, that they have worked so hard and study diligently at Home - they deserve a break... In other words, they did not come to School for more 'Schooling'!?

Slim vang sy Baas...

From the Classes that I invigilate and the Test-papers I have started marking... It is very evident, that not a lot of thought and/or work have gone into preparing for and answering their Test-papers. For many of the Learners, School is still very much just a Place where they go to hang out with their Friends and Education is the Greatest Joke ever told!? It is not kind, to find joy in somebody else's misfortune... But, to some of the Answers, I cannot help but have a giggle and think to myself... Dear Child, nobody but yourself is to blame for the type of ludicrous nonsense you put down on paper. Being the Class Clown only pays off amongst the silly 'fans' they try and impress. When a Child(?) says, that he is 'happy' with an average of 10 - 20% because he likes it at School and plans to be here for a long time... I really tend to believe him!

One can only break one's back, so many times - for an unappreciative audience...

Sometimes, it is better to let 'it' be and let Life's little disappointments be the Lesson...

Time to get back to the rest of the Mountain of Marking that awaits...

Back to School 8 - Oh, Happy Days...

Reflection - Week 8

Spring Delights - Spring Delayed

Spring has sprung... So too, has the Season of Tests.

The Learners are to face their September Tests and the Educators face the 'Test' of getting them test-ready and through this period of their School Year.

We still have a shortage of staff at School... Luckily, the Grade 12 Learners are at a neighbouring school - to write their Tests (we do not have a Venue for them at School). As such, I have the privilege of attending to the classes of the Teachers who are to invigilate at the other School. I still enjoy my classes with the Grade 11 Learners... We managed to get on with their Project for Life Orientation - Careers... And in the English Department we have shifted our focus to Language. I set myself the task to get through Parts of Speech, Levels of Language, and Figures of Speech (Revision) and look at Reference Texts (Dictionary and Thesaurus) and Visual Literacy (Cartoons and Advertising). I am constantly reminded, that one should be careful to not assume that the Learners remember or even know the terminology used in their subjects... Even the Home Language Learners still surprise me with their lack of knowledge (reference!?) of terminology that we, as teachers, use in our Lessons... It proves to me, that Proper (adequate!?) Education still has a long way to go... When one has to pause one's lesson... To explain in Detail with LOTS of examples, the difference between a Proper Noun and a Pronoun... Why an Adverb describes a Verb, but an Adjective describes a Noun and not an 'Ad-Noun'??? "Just ADD-the-Noun, Sir!"??? The Learners constantly remind me that they are 'grown up' - "Ek is mos oud genoeg en groot genoeg... Meneer kannie vir my vertel nie...". Yet, I cannot help but chuckle to myself when I have to resort to Kindergarten Songs I used in teaching English to Korean and Chinese learners during my TEFL Days, to teach them Grammar Rules... When, you hear your Preposition Song (In, on, under...) sung to you when you pass a group of kids (smokers!?) while on playground duty, it does leave you with some sense of 'achievement'... Even though, they only do it to mock you - the Teacher. The little Victories... I gladly accept them...

I have hoped to not put down any of my negative experiences with the Grade 8 to 10s, this Week... Since I am merely their 'Toesig-onnie', as they like to remind me, they simply refuse to do the work I write on the green board or hand out to them (I have stopped wasting my time and money on printing worksheets and fun activities for them... I end up having to clean up all those torn and wasted paper every time they leave the classroom). Detention or any other type of 'punishment' is not a deterrent - they simply do not show up... Yet, even though the rotten apples have received their 'walking papers' and are not allowed on the School-grounds until they attend their disciplinary hearings with their 'adult care-givers'... They cannot 'afford' to stay away from School because that would affect their 'biessageite' at School!? I too, cannot afford anymore altercations with these 'kids' - replacing torn ties, shirts and punctured tyres is a very costly endeavour and as the kids remind me - they make a lot more money than I do - I need to 'know my place'!?. Best to leave them be, and hope they 'mature', before it is too late? Some kids have lost their 'innocence'... Trying to reason with them... Trying to explain to them WHY their choices in life will have detrimental consequences... Why the fast money and infamy they enjoy today, won't last... It seems, that all my annoying nagging does is simply incite them to try and do worse? What started with mere snide commentary and muffled sneers and jeers, has turned into very confrontational attitudes, with some groups even trying to get 'physical' with me... As yet, I have not raised a hand to any of the Learners... But, I am sad to have to admit... That I find it harder every day, to remain compassionate towards those learners who have verbally made it clear, that they only mean me harm. From where I started - with the hopes of trying to be empathetic and try and affect some change... If only by really listening and trying to understand where they come from... I sense, that I too have started to become a product of my 'environment'... an Environment, where one seems to have to be a 'hard man' to be respected. An Environment where everybody is always competing to be at the top of the food chain... Or end up being a Victim, like the rest of the 'weaklings'...

This was not, how I saw my journey of self discovery play out...

Back-to-School - Week 7 - Mid-week Mayhem...

Back-to-School - Week 7

School at War / War on School - Mid-week Rant

With the start of the Spring Season, comes the promise of Hope and New Life...?

However, at Scottsdene HS, it has been nothing but Hooliganism and Bloodshed.

I was under the assumption that last Week's Gang-fights was the end of this mess.

I am getting the Sad Sense that I really care too much, about Kids who do not seem to 'care' at all...

They do not seem to care about themselves, their Futures or their safety and much less do they care about the safety of everybody else around them... The week started with 8 of our Colleagues being absent, again - as such, I understood that I would have to supervise those unattended classes again... Sometimes, two or three different classes at a time. If I am lucky, the classes are not too far from each other... Running to and fro' these Classes, gives the kids ample time and opportunity to get up to all sorts of nonsense though. The Grade 12s write their first Paper on Life Orientation on Friday (September 4th) and they still had to study for their Control Tests for Tourism and History (Tuesday & Thursday), yet - they assure me their work is up to date, and they need a break from the books???

The Grade 8 to 10s have yet not made the Connection, that they are at School to get an Education...

It would appear, the sole purpose of these 'youngsters' are to disrupt the School and cause as much havoc as they are possibly capable of??? I have picked up the Sniffles in the meanwhile, yet I still feel it is my Duty to be at School, to try and help the 'kids' to prepare for their upcoming Exams...

Wednesday arrives and all hell breaks loose on the School-grounds... Upon arrival, I am met by a bloody Fight at the School-gates. Bricks being thrown about and boys beating each other with sticks and pipes... This is apparently an on-going battle from the day-before - a 'misunderstanding' of some sorts??? Once the crowd has dispersed, it seems we can start a 'Normal' Day of School...

By the first Period however, we have hooligans running about the School-ground wielding Pangas and other vicious looking weaponry. The 'little' Gangsters are running about - from Classroom to Classroom, trying to find other gangsters hiding in the Classrooms... Why the Learners have such an admiration for these hoodlums, I still do not understand? They look very far from the Kings-of-the-Jungle (which they think they are) and more like starved, scruffy, scavenging Jackals. The Learners inside of the now locked classrooms are violently trying to get through me, to get outside to 'ENJOY' the Blood-sports that is about to go down... There are days, that I honestly feel that perhaps it would be better to allow these Ruffians to just end each other and purge the neighborhood of the filth... Harsh words... But, Honest Feelings.

These Gangsters are or were students at the very same school they are trying to break down today...

The Learners in the Class (whom we are trying to protect from the Gangsters) are very much a part of the Problem... The Grade 9 Boy who p*ssed his pants, when it became clear that the thugs were looking for him as well... Refusing to hand over the Knife, he pulls out in the Classroom... Acting all Macho, once the Thugs were chased off... Reminding me (the Teacher) that I have no right to take away his 'property'. Kids whom I have only tried to handle respectfully, having no qualms in using the foulest of language on me and other teachers. Some Days, I really wonder - why do still bother?

The latest Reports on Life 'in the Hood'...