Back-to-School 10 - End of the Road

The End of the Road

Reflection – Week 10

The Completion of a Chapter, again…

And so, I have reached the End of my Teaching Practical at Scottsdene High School...

With many of the Grades having written their ‘critical’ Tests during the previous Week, the School-ground appeared eerily empty on Monday-morning. Only the unfortunate few whom still had to write Tourism, Consumer Studies and select Papers and Tasks for History still came to School. This gave me ample time, to complete marking my Test-papers and have more ‘informal conversations’ with the learners of the classes I had to keep an eye on… Unfortunately, we had another couple of ‘incidents’ in ‘The Hood’ – the fatal shooting of one of their friends on Monday (after School) and a stabbing (not fatal) of a Grade 9 Student on Tuesday during Home-room, by one of his Classmates.

The Weekend-before my last Week at School, I had to do some Introspection about my reasons for wanting to enter the Teaching Profession. I have realized, that I had become very negative about my experiences at School and was being consumed by it. I was allowing the circumstances and events dictate how I approach and react to my daily ‘toil’ at School. And that was not what I had intended... I did not want to dread getting up and going to school. I did not want to grow so cold and heartless, that I find myself becoming blunt to the daily struggles of my learners. I have always been a very positive person and returned Home (Cape Town, South Africa) to try and share that ‘positivity’ with the learners back home. My Time spent in the Public School System of South Korea, opened up my eyes to how much stress and troubles the youth of today have to deal with… In South Korea, the general community deal with their Issues by escapism… Denial, Alcoholism and Suicide being the biggest Social Issues that threads through their Society. From the poorest farm-worker (unable to take care of his Family), to the Leaders of the Country (unable or unwilling to own up to their short-comings and ask for assistance)… Too easily do they choose to end their ‘worries’ by ending their Lives, in an attempt to ‘save face’ and spare their family the ‘dishonor’ of public shame and humiliation??? In Scottsdene and the surrounding Neighbourhoods, the Youth (Young Men AND Women) do not choose suicide… They rather lash out in frustration to whomever they come into contact with… They ‘crash’ into each other and react violently… Towards their families, their neighbours, their friends… Even towards those, who intend to show them compassion and offer to try and lend a helping hand??? The kids see this in their Homes… On the Streets… They see their ‘heroes’ beating up each other… And in many cases, they reason that this is the normal way of dealing with their difficulties. If you want something, you take it… If you are upset, you hurt someone else.

I was never under the Illusion, that my School-Experience would be a Fairy-tale… I chose, to do my Practical Teaching at a School where I would face the realities of Life in the ‘Bornfree’ South Africa. I have heard tales, both great and gruesome, about the discrepancies in the Real School Experiences of Kids in vastly different circumstances.

I just wasn’t very prepared for how much of a challenge it would be, to keep one’s composure and still remain an Educator to Learners who do not realize how important their Education is… In order for them to try and ‘escape’ their current dire circumstances? I have since realized, that perhaps THAT is part of the Problem… The Privileged Point-of-View that their lived experiences are of a lesser ‘value’ and we want them to be ‘better’… To become ‘better’… As the saying goes – Charity is the Opium of the Privileged. Perhaps, we are still too far removed from the everyday REAL experiences of our learners that we are just unable to relate to them… As such, we do not understand WHY they are so resistant to ‘help’ from ‘the outside’… From ‘the other’, because we do not live their Lives and we approach them with an attitude of Judgement. Even though we mean ‘well’… We still treat them as if they are inferior, and we want them to be more like ‘us’… Because, we are ‘better’ and we want them to be ‘better’??? Even though, I grew up just a few blocks away from the neighbourhood of Scottsdene, I too caught myself regaling my classes with my Stories from Overseas… And why I want them, to try and get through School successfully and get out there – as the World is their Oyster and they just have to reach out and grab it… Perhaps… Their whole World consist of what they have in the here and the now??? They may have Parents and other Family Members (some of my Learners are Parents already) dependent on them for an Income – whether it is the monthly SASSA Payment or the Money they ‘earn’ selling Drugs and Robbing and Thieving… For these Learners, my ‘inspirational talks’ are mere reminders that they already have a very difficult time to manage their daily affairs… They do not dare to dream about leaving their Real Lives behind, in pursuit of Dreams that seem very unrealistic and unattainable to them…

My Initial Goal of wanting to be an Example and an Inspiration to my Learners, has not quite crumpled… I do feel however, that I need to be more aware about how I approach my students – in order to not alienate them… We can only try to teach, when our audience is open to learning from us… When the audience is unable to relate to us and they are of the opinion that we are only blowing our own horn, they are most likely going to turn away from us and it is a very difficult task to recapture their attention once that has happened… This is most probably the biggest lesson that I have learnt from my time at Scottsdene High School… Connect… Really connect with your learners!!! Before you even attempt to open up a Book or start a Discussion with your class - make sure that you have their attention and that they are actually interested in what you have prepared for them. Time does not always allow it, however… Take some time to get to know your learners… Try to understand them… What makes them tick… And what do they NEED from you, as the Educator, in order to help them reach the Goals they set up for themselves… It is good to want to inspire and push them towards their Goals, but don’t be ‘pushy’… Promoting our own goals, as the Teacher / Adult / Better-than-thou, will only push the child… No, Young Adult(!) away from you… Once that Connection you have with them has been severed, it is not easy to mend the tear that is left behind.

Week 9 - We'll be just fine...

Back-to-School - Week 9

Break my Spine, I'll be just fine...

And thus, we've reached the End of the 1st Week of September Tests...

The Grade 8 to 11s have started writing their 3rd Term Tests on Tuesday. Strangely enough, these kids were under the impression that - because the ANAs  (Annual National Assessment) were postponed, they would get a Free Pass and not need to write any Tests, on account of all the 'disruptions' at school!? Fat Chance, Fellas...

These are the same bright young minds, who are 'clever' enough to want to 'reason' with the Teachers, that they have worked so hard and study diligently at Home - they deserve a break... In other words, they did not come to School for more 'Schooling'!?

Slim vang sy Baas...

From the Classes that I invigilate and the Test-papers I have started marking... It is very evident, that not a lot of thought and/or work have gone into preparing for and answering their Test-papers. For many of the Learners, School is still very much just a Place where they go to hang out with their Friends and Education is the Greatest Joke ever told!? It is not kind, to find joy in somebody else's misfortune... But, to some of the Answers, I cannot help but have a giggle and think to myself... Dear Child, nobody but yourself is to blame for the type of ludicrous nonsense you put down on paper. Being the Class Clown only pays off amongst the silly 'fans' they try and impress. When a Child(?) says, that he is 'happy' with an average of 10 - 20% because he likes it at School and plans to be here for a long time... I really tend to believe him!

One can only break one's back, so many times - for an unappreciative audience...

Sometimes, it is better to let 'it' be and let Life's little disappointments be the Lesson...

Time to get back to the rest of the Mountain of Marking that awaits...

Back to School 8 - Oh, Happy Days...

Reflection - Week 8

Spring Delights - Spring Delayed

Spring has sprung... So too, has the Season of Tests.

The Learners are to face their September Tests and the Educators face the 'Test' of getting them test-ready and through this period of their School Year.

We still have a shortage of staff at School... Luckily, the Grade 12 Learners are at a neighbouring school - to write their Tests (we do not have a Venue for them at School). As such, I have the privilege of attending to the classes of the Teachers who are to invigilate at the other School. I still enjoy my classes with the Grade 11 Learners... We managed to get on with their Project for Life Orientation - Careers... And in the English Department we have shifted our focus to Language. I set myself the task to get through Parts of Speech, Levels of Language, and Figures of Speech (Revision) and look at Reference Texts (Dictionary and Thesaurus) and Visual Literacy (Cartoons and Advertising). I am constantly reminded, that one should be careful to not assume that the Learners remember or even know the terminology used in their subjects... Even the Home Language Learners still surprise me with their lack of knowledge (reference!?) of terminology that we, as teachers, use in our Lessons... It proves to me, that Proper (adequate!?) Education still has a long way to go... When one has to pause one's lesson... To explain in Detail with LOTS of examples, the difference between a Proper Noun and a Pronoun... Why an Adverb describes a Verb, but an Adjective describes a Noun and not an 'Ad-Noun'??? "Just ADD-the-Noun, Sir!"??? The Learners constantly remind me that they are 'grown up' - "Ek is mos oud genoeg en groot genoeg... Meneer kannie vir my vertel nie...". Yet, I cannot help but chuckle to myself when I have to resort to Kindergarten Songs I used in teaching English to Korean and Chinese learners during my TEFL Days, to teach them Grammar Rules... When, you hear your Preposition Song (In, on, under...) sung to you when you pass a group of kids (smokers!?) while on playground duty, it does leave you with some sense of 'achievement'... Even though, they only do it to mock you - the Teacher. The little Victories... I gladly accept them...

I have hoped to not put down any of my negative experiences with the Grade 8 to 10s, this Week... Since I am merely their 'Toesig-onnie', as they like to remind me, they simply refuse to do the work I write on the green board or hand out to them (I have stopped wasting my time and money on printing worksheets and fun activities for them... I end up having to clean up all those torn and wasted paper every time they leave the classroom). Detention or any other type of 'punishment' is not a deterrent - they simply do not show up... Yet, even though the rotten apples have received their 'walking papers' and are not allowed on the School-grounds until they attend their disciplinary hearings with their 'adult care-givers'... They cannot 'afford' to stay away from School because that would affect their 'biessageite' at School!? I too, cannot afford anymore altercations with these 'kids' - replacing torn ties, shirts and punctured tyres is a very costly endeavour and as the kids remind me - they make a lot more money than I do - I need to 'know my place'!?. Best to leave them be, and hope they 'mature', before it is too late? Some kids have lost their 'innocence'... Trying to reason with them... Trying to explain to them WHY their choices in life will have detrimental consequences... Why the fast money and infamy they enjoy today, won't last... It seems, that all my annoying nagging does is simply incite them to try and do worse? What started with mere snide commentary and muffled sneers and jeers, has turned into very confrontational attitudes, with some groups even trying to get 'physical' with me... As yet, I have not raised a hand to any of the Learners... But, I am sad to have to admit... That I find it harder every day, to remain compassionate towards those learners who have verbally made it clear, that they only mean me harm. From where I started - with the hopes of trying to be empathetic and try and affect some change... If only by really listening and trying to understand where they come from... I sense, that I too have started to become a product of my 'environment'... an Environment, where one seems to have to be a 'hard man' to be respected. An Environment where everybody is always competing to be at the top of the food chain... Or end up being a Victim, like the rest of the 'weaklings'...

This was not, how I saw my journey of self discovery play out...

Back-to-School - Week 7 - Mid-week Mayhem...

Back-to-School - Week 7

School at War / War on School - Mid-week Rant

With the start of the Spring Season, comes the promise of Hope and New Life...?

However, at Scottsdene HS, it has been nothing but Hooliganism and Bloodshed.

I was under the assumption that last Week's Gang-fights was the end of this mess.

I am getting the Sad Sense that I really care too much, about Kids who do not seem to 'care' at all...

They do not seem to care about themselves, their Futures or their safety and much less do they care about the safety of everybody else around them... The week started with 8 of our Colleagues being absent, again - as such, I understood that I would have to supervise those unattended classes again... Sometimes, two or three different classes at a time. If I am lucky, the classes are not too far from each other... Running to and fro' these Classes, gives the kids ample time and opportunity to get up to all sorts of nonsense though. The Grade 12s write their first Paper on Life Orientation on Friday (September 4th) and they still had to study for their Control Tests for Tourism and History (Tuesday & Thursday), yet - they assure me their work is up to date, and they need a break from the books???

The Grade 8 to 10s have yet not made the Connection, that they are at School to get an Education...

It would appear, the sole purpose of these 'youngsters' are to disrupt the School and cause as much havoc as they are possibly capable of??? I have picked up the Sniffles in the meanwhile, yet I still feel it is my Duty to be at School, to try and help the 'kids' to prepare for their upcoming Exams...

Wednesday arrives and all hell breaks loose on the School-grounds... Upon arrival, I am met by a bloody Fight at the School-gates. Bricks being thrown about and boys beating each other with sticks and pipes... This is apparently an on-going battle from the day-before - a 'misunderstanding' of some sorts??? Once the crowd has dispersed, it seems we can start a 'Normal' Day of School...

By the first Period however, we have hooligans running about the School-ground wielding Pangas and other vicious looking weaponry. The 'little' Gangsters are running about - from Classroom to Classroom, trying to find other gangsters hiding in the Classrooms... Why the Learners have such an admiration for these hoodlums, I still do not understand? They look very far from the Kings-of-the-Jungle (which they think they are) and more like starved, scruffy, scavenging Jackals. The Learners inside of the now locked classrooms are violently trying to get through me, to get outside to 'ENJOY' the Blood-sports that is about to go down... There are days, that I honestly feel that perhaps it would be better to allow these Ruffians to just end each other and purge the neighborhood of the filth... Harsh words... But, Honest Feelings.

These Gangsters are or were students at the very same school they are trying to break down today...

The Learners in the Class (whom we are trying to protect from the Gangsters) are very much a part of the Problem... The Grade 9 Boy who p*ssed his pants, when it became clear that the thugs were looking for him as well... Refusing to hand over the Knife, he pulls out in the Classroom... Acting all Macho, once the Thugs were chased off... Reminding me (the Teacher) that I have no right to take away his 'property'. Kids whom I have only tried to handle respectfully, having no qualms in using the foulest of language on me and other teachers. Some Days, I really wonder - why do still bother?

The latest Reports on Life 'in the Hood'...

Back to School... Six

Back to School... Six - Stones-n-Sticks...

...but Words, will never hurt me!?

After my Weekend of 'bonding' with the Seniors, I was looking forward to my Crit-lessons this Tuesday past... Apart from the regular Mayhem of Learners bringing weapons to School, threatening Teachers, and visits of Flashing Blue Lights - it was a pretty standard Week at School. I am proud of my Grade 11 and 12s for 'behaving' and felt the Evaluation-lessons went swimmingly. I still find the discrepancy with the discipline amongst the lower Grades and the higher Grades to be somewhat of a 'concern'... The Grade 11s are an absolute joy to work with... The Semi-adults of Grade 12 needs to be handled with care at times, but I found - as long as I treat them with respect, I can expect the same from them... It saddens me to over-hear some of the 'venomous' language being used on some of the Learners, at times... One cannot expect a youngster to reach out for something better, if one constantly attacks their character or self-esteem!? I have made the decision to NOT use any profound language or negative words towards my Classes... I hope the 'Experiment' pays off...

The Grade 8s and 9s are becoming more of a challenge, it would appear... I have not taught any official lessons with these Grades, since they have returned to School... And from looking at their Books, it would appear that they have not done much Schoolwork for the entire year!? Some learners (those who have books!?) made their last written entries in May or March!? I find it difficult to ascertain where they are supposed to be regarding their Work, as I do not get to have meetings with their Teachers (family or health-related absenteeism) and not a single child has been able to present me with a Textbook!? My Daily Schedule to supervise these 'lost classes' change on a daily basis - from MathLit to Geo (Subjects that I am entirely unfamiliar with)... I have had discussions on Life Orientation and started reading Short Stories, with all the Classes I see - just to get some short of class structure going... The learners are still of the opinion that they are on Holiday!? Groups of learners still prowl the School-grounds like Predators, during class-time and twice have I now walked into the Classroom - filled with a cloud of marijuana smoke and games of dice being played, by learners who act as if the Teacher is merely an irritating little inconvenience to their daily doings... I constantly remind myself, that I should keep trying... At least, for those learners who still reach out to us, the Educators, for guidance and assistance... It saddens me to see how little some kids care about their Futures. When a child tells you, he would rather gather his riches slinging drugs on the Streets than 'waste' his time at School, it does give one plenty of Food for Thought.

Back-to-School - Five: In the Beehive

Back-to-School - Five

Back in the Beehive

The Grade 8s re-joined the School this Week...

It never fails to amaze me, how the Kids use any ol' excuse in the change of environment as an opportunity to disrupt the normal flow of the School Day. This past Week, we had fights break out between the different 'factions' (Grade 8, 9 and even the more Senior Grades)... Supposedly, on account of 'turf' and other silliness - like the Cat-fight between two Grade 11 Girls, because of a 'vuil kyk'... When you hear their Stories and Priors though, one realises that these little kittens are not to be handled without gloves... Learners as young as 14 years old, with actual criminal records that include robbery, violent assault and cases of rape! The Cops had to stop by the School this Week, on account of a learner ignoring his interdict and arriving at School with a Fire-arm - scolding and threatening a Teacher, to allow him to see his 'girlfriend' who got the restraining order against him and his gang in the first place...

After also receiving threats of having my tyres slashed, when I reprimanded a group of youths for smoking marijuana on the School-grounds, I have decided to take a step back and get my hands out of the 'boiling cauldron'. The Permanent Teachers say, that unless we get more Involvement from the Parents, there isn't much we can actually do. We write up our observations and can mostly keep a Record of it...

The Week played out as per normal, with the usual suspects adding a little Spice to my dull and dreariest days. However, I did get the opportunity to 'volunteer' to join the Matriculants on their Educational Excursion this past weekend. The Learners were very excited about this 'Camp' of theirs... I could not help but feel a shiver of trepidation run down my Spine as we boarded the Bus on Friday- afternoon...

I had hopes and dreams of never becoming THAT Old Man, who plays Outwit - Outplay - Outlast with the youngsters... I have failed, I am that Guy... Even after checking their luggage before we departed from School. I still had issues with Contraband being smuggled into their Accommodation for the Weekend. While, the Learners were being checked in and had their Welcoming Ceremony, I was sent back to School for First Aid Kits and Toilet paper. Lesson learned - Never take your own vehicle to official events, unless you don't mind being the unofficial Taxi and Pick-up and Delivery Vehicle for all sorts of odds-n-ends (no Petrol-refund, as Students are not officially on the books as Gov. Employees) and can afford the Scratches and Bumps of Parking your Car overnight on a Campus Parking-lot. I digress...

Upon my return to Campus, the Rooms have already been turned into Hot-boxes and a very jovial atmosphere hung about the dorm - much like the cloud of smoke I walked into... This was to be the setting for a very long night of Cat-n-Mouse... 4 Junior Teachers/Students to supervise almost 200 Senior Learners. Not a single wink of sleep was to be had that night. Safety Laws (and The Law) prevent us from knocking out, our dear learners and locking them up for the Night (for their Safety, and my own peace of mind)... At 4am in the morning, I was still on Patrol - trying to hush down the Music, the Gigglers, the Streakers, the 'brave ones' trying to break out of the Boys' Dorms to go visit their Girls - "Ek issie gewoond aan alleen slaap'ie, Meneer!"??? And yet... I still had to get them up at 6am to be Fresh and Dressed for the long day, that lay ahead.

Those were the Days... When one could carry on all night, and still be able to function the following day... Oh, to be young again... Tee hee hee!!!

After breakfast and our morning meeting, I was fortunate enough to leave that hot mess behind to take the Rugby Boys off Campus for their Game against Settlers HS.

They won their Game, 36 - 19 (with very little Sleep), and still had the audacity to remind me that I 'owe' them each a R50, because I didn't have faith they could perform after the madness of the night before... This is an all too common theme - the Expectation and sometimes even Demand for a Reward, for doing something that is actually their 'duty' and only of benefit to themselves and their own futures...

"Meneer, wat gaan Meneer vir my gee as ek my boek uit haal?" - Story of my Life...

I have never believed in bribing anybody, child or adult, into doing anything at all!

From my observations and talks with the Learners, I can see how an integral part of their existence this is though - instant gratification. Promises of future gain and benefits do not mean much to them... They have been lied to so many times (mostly by grown-ups in whom they placed their trust), that sweet talk and promises have zero value to them. Seeing is believing... And what they see... Is not always so sweet... But, that is a Tale for another rainy day...

On that Note, I am now going to try and catch up on lost sleep...

Back to School... Four - Back for more...

Reflection - Week 4

Four - Back for more...


We have New Classrooms!!!

Our New Temporary (Permanent) Classrooms!!!

The Long Walk to Educational Freedom...

Building of the Structures for the Grade 8 Classes

Monday Assembly - In 'full' Attendance...

The Grounds, 3 Weeks ago - BEFORE the 'New Developments'...

After Weeks of feeling like a weathered leaf, blown about by the Cape Doctor - Southern Eastern, our temporary (permanent?) structures were made available for occupation! We were able to move most of the Grade 9 to 10s out of the Community Center and back to the School-grounds. The Grade 8s are still being accommodated in the Church Hall, but plans are in place to have them move into their own classes by Monday next, as soon as their pre-fabricated classrooms are put into place. What an exciting start to the Week. Shiny New Classrooms and excited 'new' faces - back-to-School, we go!!!

Space...

...and...

...Opportunity!!!

On the Academic Front, I was able to make some headway with 'my' Grade 11 and 12s, regarding the Short Stories for English FAL (First Additional Language) and HL (Home Language). We even managed to work in a piece of Transactional Writing this Week - The CV and Letter of Application. This linked up well with the Lesson I had for Life Orientation - Careers and Career Choices. The Learners were also busy with their Prepared Reading for English, Oral for Afrikaans and their PATs (Personal Assessment Portfolios) for the Tourism Class. It seemed, like we were finally getting back on track and on the way to normalcy at School...

I was feeling a renewed appreciation for the experience (joys and woes) of Teaching and the blessings of being able to connect with so many young bright minds. The Learners and I were coming to some sort of an understanding with each other. It even seemed like I was getting through, to some of the regular 'Clowns' and 'Hooligans' in the higher Grades...

Then... The End of the Week arrives...

As discussed and arranged with my Mentors in ENG and LO, I was to continue with the work that I started with the Grade 11 and 12 Classes, while they attempt to get their Grade 10s up to speed... Up until this Stage, the lower Grades still had very little actual Classroom-time and had 3 Weeks of Work to catch up on... This was no Big Issue, as I have already been attending to 'my' Classes on my own, since the previous week...

I was quite surprised however, when I was called upon (during my 1st Period Lesson), to be told, I was 'needed' somewhere else - to attend to a Class, while the Teacher went to the Bank? It was Pay-day for the Teachers and he would be back soon... From my experience of the previous Friday (when 6 Teachers were absent), I thought... I would simply have to keep an eye on the Learners, while they were busy with their work, which was left for them by their Classroom Teacher. I would run between Classes, as I did not have the space to simply add these Kids to my Grade 11 Class, as was done the Week before... Luckily, I thought to myself... It wouldn't be too bad... It was not Friday the 13th...

I was mistaken!

I put the Grade 11s to work - complete their CVs and Letter of Application, and made my way over to the 'new' block of Classrooms. I found out, I have inherited the Math Classes of Grade 9 and 10...

Now, I am of the Opinion, that each and every Critter and Creation on this beautiful blue ball that we call Mother Earth, is worthy and deserving of Respect. I try to honor this 'Personal Rule' of mine at all times... In practice, this can sometimes be a tall order, I have come to realize... Try as you may, to treat others with Respect, Dignity and Compassion... That does not necessarily mean, the same will be afforded to you. Not everybody is as concerned with your wishes and well-being, as they are with their own concerns and 'priorities'...

Upon my arrival at the 'new' Classroom, the Grade 9Ds seemed to have lost their minds??? The Desks were upturned, lewd writing on the Walls and Blackboard, Papers and Garbage strewn all over the Classroom-floor, Loud Music being blasted from their Mobiles and Mini Beat-boxes - a General Scene of Chaos!!!

I tried for the better half of two periods, to get back some order and get the kids back into the classroom and into their desks. It seemed futile... Fights (Mock or Real) constantly breaking out, on account of Bags, Clothing and Books being hidden or thrown about or out the Windows. Cursing at each other, with a clear attitude of Contempt and Disrespect for their fellow Learners and the Teacher. As they have already lost 4 Weeks of the Semester, it was made very clear by the Learners, that they had no interest in getting on with their Schoolwork... By Break-time, their Class-teacher had still not returned to 'relieve' me and I decided to seek out the Senior or more experienced Teachers for advice or HELP??? I was informed that the 9Ds, 9Gs and 9Es were the 'Problem Classes' and that I will have to 'make do'... "Keep them busy...", was the best advice on offer... I still had 4 more Periods with them 'little Angels'!!! I had this eerie feeling, that this was the reason that these Classes were handed to the 'Stupid Student Teacher'. What doesn't kill you... May just leave you, with ever-lasting Scars... All the best Theories relating to Discipline and Classroom Management, goes up in Smoke when the Classroom is on Fire...

Excellent kindling...

Back-to-back Classes of Madness and Mayhem, with not a lot of support from my 'colleagues' did not leave me with a very positive 'feel' on this fateful Friday... I did not feel a lot of Love for the Profession, as I stepped out of the Gates that afternoon. I do realize, however, that One (or more) Bad Day(s)... Does not make a Lifetime of Experiences... There was still a Lesson to be learned from this.

There will always be People, who will try to take advantage of one's kindness and soft heartedness...

Respect, Compassion and Love should be reserved for those who Value, Appreciate and Treasure it.